Fuckin' A!

-MjL

If Erik is allowed to stir up controversy, then I guess I should be able to also.

So, this guy makes a game about Columbine. Bad taste? or catharsis? I find it tantamount to that new movie coming out.

Serious business? or simply offensive?

These are supposedly 30 questions that no one would EVER think to ask.
Answer them, with what comes to mind first, then REPOST the bulletin!

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
"can I skip shaving today?"

2. When is the next time you will have sex?
pfff. Can one truly predict such extraordinary celestial events? When is the next time Pluto will come within 10,000 miles of the Earth?

3. What's a word that rhymes with "FUCK"?
luck

4. Favorite planet?
Venus

5. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your mobile?
Jennifer, the bowling lady/girl (haven't figured it out yet)

6. What is your favorite ring on your cell?
The Tadahito and the Iguchis cover of "Go Go White Sox".

7. What shirt are you wearing?
A Fall Flavor Fest shirt from junior year of high school.

8. Do you "label" yourself?
what does that even mean? I think I probably would if I could.

9. Name the brand of shoes you're currently wearing?
socks. but vans everyday.

10. Bright or Dark Room?
dim.

11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
He needs to get confidence with the ladies. And then once he figures it out, teach me.

12. If you're alone in a room with two beds, which one do you sleep on?
the one farthest from the door.

13. What were you doing at midnight last night?
that was about when we were sitting around a hookah. and I was sitting in a chair with only one arm.

14. What did your last text message you received on your mobile say?
I don't even know, cause my dumb Razr deletes them every so often.

15. Who is the coolest person in your life?
depends on what you mean by coolest.

16. What's a word that you say a lot?
like

17.Who told you he/she loved you last?
wow. come to think of it. it's been a while. I don't know. I'll have to think about it.

18. Last furry thing you touched?
does the whole thing have to be furry? or can it be a furry part of something/someone? ...you know what? let's just skip this question.

19. How many drugs have you done in the last three days?
not even aspirin.

20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
who does that anymore?

21. Favorite age you have been so far?
it was probably 17.

22. Your worst enemy?
we all know that I hate that Crispin Freeman. If anyone's going to Acen, and he's there, punch him.

23. What is your current desktop picture?
On this computer, a lame windows default Stonehenge. on my laptop, a fanmade of Kisuke Urahara, on my cell phone, a photo I took of The Cell.

24. What was the last thing you said to someone?
with real talking words: "Okay." with IM words: "nope, I just left it at that."

25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to fly, which would you take?
I'd fly, then charge people for rides.

26. Do you like someone?
i don't even know anymore...

27. The last song you listened to?
Fountains of Wayne - Half a Woman

28. If the last person you spoke to was getting shot at, what would you do?
Do the slow motion dive with the "noooooooo"

29. If you could punch 1 person in the face who's in your life right now, who would it be?
most of the time I find myself wanting to punch people who are in other people's lives in the face.

30. What is the closest object to your left foot?
the handle to open the drawer on the computer desk. (or my sock.)

-MjL

I heap myself in procrastination. Most of it is so ridiculous that it is hard to comprehend. I even procrastinate so far as to the fact as to do my work long after it's due. Lately it's been getting me depressed that I cannot do anything about it, no matter how much I try. I cannot not procrastinate. I'm not even joking here.

-MjL

A Haiku from my daily mailing list:

Floating in the space
Between floor and ceiling
Yesterday's balloon

--Kristine Metzker

Step 1: Put your media player or whatever on random.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.
Step 5: Looking them up on Google or any other search engine is CHEATING

(Skipping ones with no words, and ones in languages that aren't English, also skipping intros)

1. Harry Truman, Doris Day, Red China, Jonnie Ray; South Pacific, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio
2. What is it really? What's going on here? You got the system for total control.
3. Monday. Gonna take a ride on the N train, down to Coney Island
4. To our crazy fans, we wrote this song, especially for you...
5. Na Na Na Na, Na Na Na Na, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye.
6. She's not eatin' bacon, not eatin' sausage, and she won't eat eggs.
7. Drivin' around in a Volkswagen van, thinkin' bout the people upside down in Japan
8. She's driving away, with the dim lights on
9. Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
10. Jenny, Jenny, who can I turn to?
11. Shuffle in the feet, thrive alive, Viking Confident, am lucky I...
12. 1,2,3,4 My baby don't mess around, because she loves me so...
13. Hate, something, sometime, someway, something kick off the front floor.
14. The world is spinning too fast. I'm buying lead Nike shoes.
15. I am a man, cut from the know
16. You've got to press it on you
17. I can't reject this empty hole. I cannot count the bloody cost.
18. There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
19. Love is like a bomb baby c'mon get it on
20. Shame, such a shame; I think I kind of lost myself again...

-MjL

Do you ever stop to think about how many people say that music is a huge part of their life? What does that mean? Does that statement lose some of its impact considering how many people claim it? It almost does for me.

I'll admit, that though I don't think that I ever admitted it as such, music probably is a big factor in my life. Since pretty much whenever I'm in front of the computer, winamp is open and on shuffle, I hear quite a bit of music. Music can totally change how I feel, it can lift my spirits, it can bore a hole in the soul. Sometimes if the wrong song pops up in the shuffle (like, Existentialism on Prom Night - Straylight Run or Breaking the Girl - Red Hot Chili Peppers[a song I love, but it makes me sad as hell]), it can bring things down a notch; on the other hand if something totally rocking comes on (say, Love and Memories - OAR or Cliffs of Dover - Eric Johnson), I feel like getting up and dancing (only I don't do dancing).

Maybe the wrong song came up in the shuffle too many times, or maybe it's just time, I dunno. I'm in a sort of a funk. Looking here at my Lj friends, all of one of you are actually physically accessible. Looking at my facebook friends, out of the ones I have here at LUC, I actually probably only talk to about 5 of them. I've got to do something.

When I say "maybe it's just time", I mean that for me, a person who feeds off of the emotions of others, I might have finally run out of reserves from the summer, or hell, even from high school. I might just now be realizing that that shit's over, and there's places to go. And consequently, realizing that I'm like, lightyears behind everyone else who are going to those places, since I never started going there. They didn't get a headstart, I was just over at the concession stand, and didn't realize that the race had started. I guess now it's time to drop my mostly eaten hot dog (it's ok, there was relish on it anyways), and make a break for it, an hope to God that I can catch up, or at least finish respectably.

-MjL

P.S. excuse my use of metaphor.

Video game violence has reached all new heights.

http://gamepolitics.livejournal.com/248936.html

-MjL

Yuck. I'm sick. It's probably from a combination of many consecutive late nights and a lot of smokey bowling alleys.

I've come very much to the realization that I love any music group with a girl vocalist. My first love was Edie Brickell (Paul Simon's wife) and New Bohemians. I had what some might call an unhealthy relationship with Avril Lavigne for a while, and then I discovered Straylight Run. We've got The Dresden Dolls, Morningwood, Nightwish, Freezepop, Veruca Salt, Evanescence, Kittie, and even that crazy swan girl Bjork (edit: LJ doesn't like umlauts) . Anything I'm missing that you guys can recommend?

-MjL

P.S. Erik, you like Freezepop? You should go download some Dresden Dolls tracks, like Coin-Operated Boy.

You guys are all lame, and no fun.

(see previous entry.)

-MjL

I get these momentary spasms of writers block. I'm trying to come up with a couplet to tie these two haiku together. I can't even think of two words that rhyme, let alone verse. Let's try an experiment: Community Poetry. Some might call it an Exquisite corpse. The idea is that somebody (one of you guys) leaves a comment with a word, a phrase, a line, or whatever, and then the next person writes something adding on to that. OK, so this isn't quite what an Exquisite corpse is, but you get the picture. Let's see what you guys can do. You don't have to respond to my stuff here, even.

i only wonder
that's really all i can do
what the future holds

who will still be here
what about me will be changed
and why is it so

-MjL

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	mlaird
Your haiku:	not quite sure we'll see i mostly wanted this one so i didn't know how
Username:
Created by Grahame

Not a bad one.

This is the meme for me.

-MjL

"And the whisper or handshake sending a sign
Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait nevermind

But their lips met, and reservations started to pass
Whether this was just an evening or a thing that would last"

It's V-Day +1 today. This has been the first one in a while where I didn't have somebody to be with. I don't want to say that I rely on having someone to lean on, cause that's simply not true. I do like having someone to confide in. I'm pretty stoic outside of my closest confidants, and none of them are around, save for the summer. Shit, I don't even know. Maybe it's not even someone to confide in. Just someone to feel close to. I guess this is something I need to come to terms with. There isn't a whole lot of time unaccounted for if you judge months based on who I'm going out with at the time for the last 4 years. As much as I like play, I think I ought to learn to live without it. But....

-MjL

P.S. I heard what I think could possibly be the worst song ever written today on the radio.

( System of a Down - Lonely Day )

D'you ever feel like nothing you do matters? I do.

I don't know what it is about me, but I feel like my whole person is decided not by who I am, but who other people make me out to be. For some reason, I feed off of people. Their emotions, feelings, thoughts and ideas are what make me who I am. I could sit and listen to anyone talk about anything all day, and I wouldn't mind a bit. I love listening to what people have to say, and most of the time I go out of my way to get people to tell me what they're feeling. It's when people don't do this that I get to feel uncomfortable. I don't know, maybe that uncomfortableness is what the real me is. I don't know what I would feel if I were totally on my own. Even when I'm alone, the only things that come to mind are other people. Even when I look back on things like the silent retreat back in high school, which is supposed to be the most introverted thing possible, all of my journal entries are about my relationships with other people. This definitely has to have something to do with the way in which I view God, but let's save that for another post. I don't know where I was going with this at all. Just being thoughtful is all.

-MjL

So, I had an eventful weekend. Things went differently than I'd have liked, but not awry. I'm hoping to still glean goodness out of it, but I don't know whether to anticipate it. At least there's no negative. I guess I'm not even all that good at being cryptic.

-MjL

So, a delightfully cryptic entry is due.

Honestly, I'm too tired to even be cryptic at this point. I have 5 hours of sleep in the last 60 hours. In lieu of being cryptic, I'll just leave you hanging as to why my post should even be cryptic. Shit, I'll just try to update some other time, when I can think.

-MjL play

I have the hots for Erin, the esurance representative and, apparently, super-spy. Her pink hair, sexy voice, fantastic body and, let's face it, knack for saving money, really captivate me. But I don't have the courage to ask her out on a date. I don't have enough self confidence to do it. I mean, what could a woman like that possibly see in a geeky guy like me (who just so happens to be stunningly handsome)? I can't possibly offer her thrills greater than those found in her every day life. I mean, for a woman who is constantly evading the bad guys just long enough to buy insurance, how exciting are Nintendo and Ancient Roman History?

Can't Sleep. Insomnia. Thought I'd ring in the new year with an old bad habit.

So I did not so great in some of my classes this semester, and I did very much great in others. But it balances out to just under a 'B' average. Which is what Matt needs to keep his scholarship. So, therefore, Matt needs to concentrate and get good grades next semester; with much harder classes. This is going to be painful.

New year has come and gone, and with it, not a whole lot has changed, I honestly haven't even been that affected by some of the larger turmoils that occurred. I'm just so damn bored with everything. I feel like I'm riding on some damn railroad tracks that go nowhere but through corn fields, in a straight line, on their way into the ocean. Hopefully, one of these days I'll be derailed with such a shock that my whole sleeping carriage will explode into a billion tiny pieces.

In other news, my friends who let themselves be jerked around by girls bother me.

In other other news, I got a flippin' fly new ride.

-MjL

I want a subscription to this magazine.

I also want someone to write all these papers for me.

Two more days. Two more finals. Two more papers. Phew. Procrastinators!

-MjL

I'll be out of commission tonight as well as much of tomorrow, as I'll be in Sterling, IL. Have fun, and don't do anything I wouldn't do while I'm away.

-MjL

So that absolute crisis got me to thinking. It was one of those "oh shit. what the hell do I do now?" kind of stupid things you can do. So I decided that I would just go all out, since I didn't know how long I had. I went ahead and tore out a rectangle of paper from a white sheet, wrote some haiku on it, and went ahead and made a move (well to the extent that you can, non-confrontationally).

Ever notice how people can be totally different in person than they are when you talk to them online? I honestly feel like the real me doesn't even come out unless I'm talking through a chat room or whatever. It's those few seconds of down time that you have to think of a response that you don't have IRL that are what I need. Seriously though, I find that I can say much more witty and clever things over AIM than I can in person, bumbling fool that I am.

I should really learn how to not be an idiot. How do you people put up with me in person?

The water crinkles
with frozen shards floating on
the waves of the lake

-MjL

P.S. I picked what I thought was the better finishing line for that haiku, but does anyone like "the undulation" as a replacement for "the waves of the lake"? It sort of takes the nature out of the equation, but I like big words!